Welcome to my life.
Why would you want to visit you ask? Is it one more of those boring monologues of a delusional junkie which like her delusional life is anything but interesting to a normal, well adjusted person?
Maybe. Because by the logic of your assumption I wouldn't know I was boring right?
But I will clarify that I'm not really a junkie. I could have 'junked' it out a few times, I may have part timed as a junkie but its definitely not my main job. My main job is to write, well I won't be more specific because I really haven't decided yet. I am a reluctant person by personality you may say. Reluctant because I think I have an innate commitment phobia. Some say it is the effect of the month I was born in. Maybe. I guess you can say I like the journey more than the destination, and I get an illogical reflex to run at the first hint of permanence. Good thing about a reluctant personality is that it lets me be an objective observer. You'll come to know this about me as this blog proceeds.
For some tangible details about me I'm a poetess trapped in the body of a temptress in the more relaxed side of my twenties. I have chilled out of my angst and nihilism with the world, with life, with god, with people and with myself. I have learnt to meditate, listen more than I speak, I don't always have to have the last word, the meaninglessness of life is exactly what gives meaning to our lives and some fights are just not worth fighting. I have learned slower than most people but I have learned. This is funnily a very common impression about me among the people who come close enough to really know me.
"You know strangely for a highly intelligent girl you have these random blonde moments" Existential Cocksure had said.
They all had agreed.
I had frowned.
"it’s really cute, you can be so intimidating at time that these comic reliefs are adorable. You make me smile" Cocksure explained.
They all smiled and nodded.
I smiled.
So I have these shades in my personality. Think of me like a rainbow, with all different colors standing out distinctly, yet merged together to form a beautiful arch in the sky.
Yes, but only- I have more shades than a rainbow, a lot more, and they aren't arranged so harmoniously side-by-side. My shades are more inter-tangled. Sometimes shades overlap sometimes they under-lap in a chaotic abstract painting.
This is reflected in the broad spectrum of my interests. I am passionate about a lot of things. I say passionate because it is not in my nature to just "like" something. Somewhat of an extremist, I either love or I detest. So I love books, I love playing sports, I love being right, I love movies, I love wandering, I love the outdoors, I love beaches (unlike my friends who are mountain-people), I love writing, I love poetry, I love debates (and winning them), I love music, I love drugs and I love knowing. I read incredible amount of written material. Mostly fiction (it's the most accurate description of reality) but also everything about space, psychology, philosophy, Literature, History, quantum physics, universe, spirituality, genetics, conspiracy theories, existentialism, science and astrology. Notice the various self-contradictory shades of interests, but that is because I am a very objective observer of the world. I do not make judgments neither about people nor about theories. I hear everyone's life theory (you won't believe how many amazingly interesting ones there are). Try to make no judgments by reminding myself constantly-
"Remember Moonlight, Avoid taking sides, there is NO right or wrong. Remember Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy? We are such tiny specks in the universe that our attempt to try and solve the universal mystery is ridiculous, a theatre of the absurd. I mean We can all make guesses but your answer is as good as mine because there's no way to really demonstrate in a scientific method( which requires undeniable proof) that Darwin's Origin of species won't seem as illogical to people of the 25th century as the genesis explained in the Bible seems to us today" Relax, I'm not doing a Phoebe from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, All I'm reluctantly (being an objective, unprejudiced observer) saying is that Origin of species may seem like the ONLY explanation based on the entire present knowledge we possess. Just like God seemed like the only logical explanation based on the then present knowledge of our ancient brethren. I don't take sides, I am a curious soul so I read and research about any subject that catches my fancy till I know all there is to know about it. Until another subject attracts my attention.
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