It'll be alright..

If no one holds you through the night

Wrap your own arms around you child

squeeze out the loneliness with all your might

And tell yourself it'll be alright ….

When there's no one around to show the way

Look inside you and hear your heart say

Tomorrow will bring a bright new day

And if you believe It'll be okay….



When things don't turn out the way they should

When nothing turns out how you hoped it would

Tell your self you gave it all you could

And tomorrow it'll all be good…

You want to break free, but don’t know how

Pull your head back and your chin above

The light will shine only if you allow

And everything will be okay now….



When you're alone n scared, it's the darkest night

Wrap your arms around you and squeeze dear child

Stare at the stars that shine so bright..

And you'll know, it'll be alright…

Inner Smile- when the force is strong.

When the force is strong in you, everything is magical. Life becomes like your birthday mornings as a kid, when you woke and walked about in an assured anticipation of the wonderful birthday gifts you would chance upon all day. When you meet your parents first, maybe arranged around your bed room when you opened your eyes so you wait just a few moments to open your eyes after you wake just to prepare your self for something fantastic. Most often there's nothing, the gifts you get at the end of the day were nowhere near your fantasy in numbers and magnificence but nonetheless you sleep with a inner smile because it was the beautiful tingly anticipation of wonderfulness you carried all day at the base of your stomach that was the real present the day had bestowed.

My day is speckled with magical moments that sneak upon me just as a sigh of wonder escapes my soul about the connection that warms me as it glows stronger. The universe is breathing in my being and I sit in its lap. What I feel inside is reflected in everything around me, suddenly songs that verbalize the very same thought, sometimes word to word that is dancing in my mind. Stars shine brighter, strangers smile at you, the weather changes to reflect your moods and you meet the kind of people you would have handpicked to live in your self designed, custom made world.

It reminds you that in nature time exists as moments. Nature doesn't care about seconds and minutes and hours or even days. Nature lives time in moments. It rained this evening, that was a moment. It’s the full moon today that is a moment. There are a lot of emotional moments, and those are the units of natural time, everything in between two moments is a wait, a bittersweet anticipation. Living in the city one gets so hypnotized by keeping track of the seconds, the minutes, the hour and the rest that we don't even notice the moments. We do notice the big ones. Like a first kiss, or a promotion or a lovely meeting. But the smaller more dense ones- the seconds of nature time, that are much more lighter but more frequent.

 The little moments that just blow the idea of the promises of the bigger moments. These beautiful pearls go unnoticed like cheap plastic beads in a noisy mela (fair). It envelops everybody in the city like the pollution that has infiltrated our air so deeply that we have even stopped noticing. The jadedness and grease that covers coat by coat the soft heart of a conscious soul living in a world where the humm of the city with its trucks and zooming cars and blaring television sets completely deafens the tinkling footsteps and the soft knocks of the beautiful moments that make each day. Hearing your thoughts in a random conversation at the table next to you, an auto driver humming the song that you were trying to remember all day, the sweet knowing smiles of complete strangers in a café, the lines in the book you are reading talking about your situation in a psychic sort of way. Jokes you can share with no one but yourself, that inner smile. All goes unnoticed when living in the over-stimulated life in the city. Yet, like cheap crack, it has an evil, masochistic hold on you that you know is killing you but you can't let it go.

It breathes in you

The breath of life

Dances with you

Notes and light

You open your eyes

In innocent wonder

And a glowing smile

As you say surrender

And raise your arms high

And if right now was time to die

You'd do it without a sigh.

Mind games ( that I play with my self)

Hazy shadows haunt
Refuse to take form
They linger and they taunt
And defy all norms

Reality shatters into
Countless tiny beads
Future comes to view
As minute sprouting seeds

Clarity incessantly evades
A game of hide and seek
Only confusion pervades
An overpowering reek

I meet me on the rainbow
Walking upside down
Its colours ooze and flow
Like the tears of a clown

I struggle to keep pace
With this untameable mind
Sweat lining my face
I always fall behind..

A hazy introduction to Moonlight (me)

Welcome to my life.
Why would you want to visit you ask? Is it one more of those boring monologues of a delusional junkie which like her delusional life is anything but interesting to a normal, well adjusted person?

Maybe. Because by the logic of your assumption I wouldn't know I was boring right?

But I will clarify that I'm not really a junkie. I could have 'junked' it out a few times, I may have part timed as a junkie but its definitely not my main job. My main job is to write, well I won't be more specific because I really haven't decided yet. I am a reluctant person by personality you may say. Reluctant because I think I have an innate commitment phobia. Some say it is the effect of the month I was born in. Maybe. I guess you can say I like the journey more than the destination, and I get an illogical reflex to run at the first hint of permanence. Good thing about a reluctant personality is that it lets me be an objective observer. You'll come to know this about me as this blog proceeds.

For some tangible details about me I'm a poetess trapped in the body of a temptress in the more relaxed side of my twenties. I have chilled out of my angst and nihilism with the world, with life, with god, with people and with myself. I have learnt to meditate, listen more than I speak, I don't always have to have the last word, the meaninglessness of life is exactly what gives meaning to our lives and some fights are just not worth fighting. I have learned slower than most people but I have learned. This is funnily a very common impression about me among the people who come close enough to really know me.

"You know strangely for a highly intelligent girl you have these random blonde moments" Existential Cocksure had said.
They all had agreed.
I had frowned.

"it’s really cute, you can be so intimidating at time that these comic reliefs are adorable. You make me smile" Cocksure explained.
They all smiled and nodded.
I smiled.

So I have these shades in my personality. Think of me like a rainbow, with all different colors standing out distinctly, yet merged together to form a beautiful arch in the sky.
Yes, but only- I have more shades than a rainbow, a lot more, and they aren't arranged so harmoniously side-by-side. My shades are more inter-tangled. Sometimes shades overlap sometimes they under-lap in a chaotic abstract painting.

This is reflected in the broad spectrum of my interests. I am passionate about a lot of things. I say passionate because it is not in my nature to just "like" something. Somewhat of an extremist, I either love or I detest. So I love books, I love playing sports, I love being right, I love movies, I love wandering, I love the outdoors, I love beaches (unlike my friends who are mountain-people), I love writing, I love poetry, I love debates (and winning them), I love music, I love drugs and I love knowing. I read incredible amount of written material. Mostly fiction (it's the most accurate description of reality) but also everything about space, psychology, philosophy, Literature, History, quantum physics, universe, spirituality, genetics, conspiracy theories, existentialism, science and astrology. Notice the various self-contradictory shades of interests, but that is because I am a very objective observer of the world. I do not make judgments neither about people nor about theories. I hear everyone's life theory (you won't believe how many amazingly interesting ones there are). Try to make no judgments by reminding myself constantly-

"Remember Moonlight, Avoid taking sides, there is NO right or wrong. Remember Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy? We are such tiny specks in the universe that our attempt to try and solve the universal mystery is ridiculous, a theatre of the absurd. I mean We can all make guesses but your answer is as good as mine because there's no way to really demonstrate in a scientific method( which requires undeniable proof) that Darwin's Origin of species won't seem as illogical to people of the 25th century as the genesis explained in the Bible seems to us today" Relax, I'm not doing a Phoebe from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, All I'm reluctantly (being an objective, unprejudiced observer) saying is that Origin of species may seem like the ONLY explanation based on the entire present knowledge we possess. Just like God seemed like the only logical explanation based on the then present knowledge of our ancient brethren. I don't take sides, I am a curious soul so I read and research about any subject that catches my fancy till I know all there is to know about it. Until another subject attracts my attention.